Valentine's Day Blues? A Self-Love Tarot Practice for February 14th

Here's something the chocolate commercials won't tell you: about 15 million Americans say their mental health gets worse around Valentine's Day. One in three people feel more dread than excitement when February 14th approaches.

If that's you, you're not broken. You're just human in a world that's turned love into a performance.

The Valentine's Day Blues Are Real

Psychologists have a name for it: Valentine's Day Blues. A 2022 study confirmed it's a real form of situational depression that can hit in the weeks before or after February 14th.

The causes aren't mysterious:

• Comparison culture — Everyone else seems to have the perfect relationship
• Commercialized pressure — Love reduced to expensive gestures and Instagram posts
• Loneliness amplified — Being single feels louder when romance is everywhere
• Relationship stress — Even couples feel pressure to perform happiness
• Grief and loss — The day can surface memories of relationships that ended

Whether you're single, in a complicated relationship, grieving, or just exhausted by the hype—your feelings are valid.

What If Valentine's Day Was About You?

Here's a quiet rebellion: what if February 14th became a day to connect with yourself instead of performing for others?

This isn't about pretending you don't want love or connection. It's about recognizing that the most important relationship you'll ever have is the one with yourself. And that relationship deserves attention too.

40% of women now plan to buy themselves something for Valentine's Day. The "treat yourself" movement isn't just marketing—it's people reclaiming a day that made them feel bad.

Tarot offers something deeper than retail therapy. It's a way to actually sit with yourself, ask real questions, and listen to what comes up.

The Self-Love Spread (4 Cards)

Try this spread on February 14th—or any day you need to reconnect with yourself:

1. How am I really feeling right now? — Let this card reflect your honest emotional state, without judgment
2. What do I need to hear today? — A message from your inner wisdom
3. How can I show myself love this week? — Practical self-care guidance
4. What's one thing I'm ready to release? — A belief, habit, or expectation that no longer serves you

Don't rush through this. Sit with each card. Let yourself feel whatever comes up.

Questions Worth Asking

Instead of "Will I find love?", try questions that put you back in your power:

• What does love mean to me—not what movies say it should mean?
• How do I abandon myself in relationships?
• What would it feel like to be enough, exactly as I am?
• What kind of love am I ready to receive?
• How can I be a better friend to myself?

These questions don't have quick answers. That's the point. They're invitations to go deeper.

A Different Kind of Valentine's Ritual

Create a small ceremony for yourself:

Set the mood: Light a candle. Put on music that makes you feel good (not sad love songs). Make your favorite drink.

Write a letter to yourself: What do you appreciate about who you are? What have you survived? What are you proud of?

Pull your cards: Use the Self-Love Spread above. Journal about what comes up.

Do one kind thing: Take a bath. Go for a walk. Cook something delicious. Watch your comfort movie. Whatever feels like care.

Skip what doesn't serve you: You don't have to scroll social media. You don't have to explain why you're not celebrating traditionally. You don't owe anyone a performance.

For the Lonely Moments

Loneliness is hard. Valentine's Day can make it harder. If you're struggling, remember:

• 47% of American adults report feeling lonely. You're in vast company.
• Loneliness isn't a character flaw—it's a signal that you need connection
• Connection doesn't only come from romance. Friends, family, community, even connection with yourself counts.
• This feeling will pass. February 15th always comes.

Tarot won't cure loneliness. But it can help you feel less alone with yourself. There's something powerful about sitting down, asking a question, and receiving an answer—even if that answer comes from your own intuition reflected back through images.

Galentine's Day and Beyond

If you'd rather not be alone, consider:

• Galentine's Day (February 13th): Celebrate friendships. Do a group tarot reading with friends.
• Anti-Valentine's gatherings: Some people throw parties specifically for those who don't want traditional celebrations
• Volunteering: Redirect the love energy outward. Help someone who needs it.

Love takes many forms. Romantic love is just one flavor.

Reclaiming the Day

Valentine's Day doesn't have to be about proving your worth through a relationship status. It can be a reminder to check in with yourself. To ask: Am I treating myself with the kindness I'd want from a partner?

The cards won't tell you when you'll find love or whether your relationship will last. But they might help you remember that you're already whole. That you're worth knowing. That the relationship with yourself is the foundation everything else is built on.

However you spend February 14th, may it be gentle. 💜